by Karen Duich
Housing and Marketing Coordinator

"One day I was a youthful-minded unattached woman happily putting my youngest one in college. The next day I was racing down the street following an ambulance with my mother in it."

This is how it usually happens. Adult children are thrust into the caregiver role with a shotgun start. Then a deluge of tough, life-changing decisions and instant changes you're not ready to handle. You have siblings across any number of states. There's bad feelings caused by Mom having to leave her home. You're trying to stay afloat at work and look after your other dependents, the kids.

Yes, this crisis happened to Mom, but there are two victims here. One lost her health and one lost her life. The Family Caregiver Alliance reports that the number of unpaid family caregivers is set to reach 37 million by 2050.

When current caregivers were asked what they wished they'd done differently, the number one answer was always to start those conversations early so they'd have time to do some preparation. Haste and panic are not friends of the aged.

There are ways to help both parents and children plan accordingly and stay happily connected.

Take a deep breath and talk about it with your parents or, if you aren't comfortable with that idea, with your siblings. When parents were asked what was the best source of information, most answered they would listen to a friend or relative or church member. Your parents will know you cared enough to ask and will subsequently trust that you'll do the best you can for them.

Keep the safety of your parents in mind. Stairs are simply not good. Being alone is simply not good. Having more responsibilities than the elderly parent can physically keep up with is simply not good. Leaving one elderly parent to take care of another elderly parent for any length of time is simply not good.

Don't wait for a catastrophic occurrence to take action. The biggest regret I hear from elderly parents is that they hung on so long to the notion that staying independent could only mean staying in their current home. They realized that being free from housework, yard work and vehicle maintenance allowed them to enjoy the social activities and lifestyle they scrimped, saved and worked so hard for all their lives.

I encourage you, caregiver, to make that first move. Call me at 314.355.8010 or come in and talk with me in person. We'll set something up according to your schedule.

Let's work out a plan to help save your life so that you can help save your parents'.